Chapter Text
[Jean's POV]
Jean's fingers slide against the keyboard, hoarding all of his concentration.
The more he concentrates, the louder he can hear the TV, despite the music that is flowing through his headphones.
He is using anything and everything to distract himself from the noise lurking down the hallway.
The faster he types, the quicker the words appear on his laptop screen, giving him an ounce of motivation to continue, but he can't fight against the focus that is slowly slipping out of his control.
The only thing pushing him to finish the essay is the fact that once he finishes, he can start on other projects-more entertaining projects.
He is completely absorbed by the screen illuminating his face that it takes him a few moments to realise that there is a presence standing in front of him.
Quickly, he peels his eyes away from his screen, which is an action he quickly regrets.
Standing in front of him is a barely clothed Connie, who has a smile on his face. The only thing stopping Jean from seeing things he shouldn't is a shirt wrapped around Connie's waist.
Jean can see that Connie is saying something due to his mouth moving, but he can't hear a single word. He grabs the remote for the TV to pause the movie before removing his headphones.
"Do you kn-"
Jean abruptly cuts him off by warning, "You have two seconds to get your semi out of my face."
The corners of Connie's mouth form into a grin as he looks down at his own body. "I couldn't find my boxers, I threw them off somewhere in the room."
"But I'm taking that as a compliment because I'm completely soft right now and you just called my dick big," he says, sounding too proud.
A frown forms on Jean's features as he looks at Connie in disgust and says, "I wouldn't take that as a compliment."
"You were supposed to be at class," Connie mutters as he walks over to Jean's dresser to grab out a pair of boxers.
The apartment that Jean and Connie share is not the biggest, but it is also not the smallest; rather, it provides the ideal amount of space and convenience for the two of them to take pleasure in.
"My class got cancelled and I didn't realise what you were doing until I came out of the shower," he explains, narrowing his eyes as he watches Connie search through his dresser. "Is she gone?"
Connie grabs a pair of boxers and starts to pull them up his body, causing Jean's eyes to focus back on his laptop screen to avoid seeing something traumatic. "Yeah, she left like five minutes ago, but I would have warned you if I knew you were here."
Connie stretches his body, causing Jean's eyes to catch sight of the tattoo that sits on Connie's rib.
"It's not like it hasn't happened before," Jean says, clearly unfazed by Connie's sexual antics.
A smile creeps on Connie's face as he approaches Jean's bed. He asks, "Are you referring to me or you, Jeany boy?"
Jean casts an unamused glare at Connie as he lays at the foot of his bed.
"What?" He asks, acting shocked as if he's playing innocent. "You've been speaking to (y/n) a lot lately and she fucked Eren, so I'm impatiently waiting for your turn."
"What does hanging out with (y/n) have to do with losing my virginity?" Jean asks, a look of bewilderment racing throughout his features.
Connie raises his eyebrows and looks at Jean as if he's tripping, causing him to slowly say, "It's (y/n)..."
"Which means?" Jean asks because he knows where this is going, but wants Connie to say it.
"If (y/n) told me she wanted to be friends with me, I'd pay her to fuck me and it will probably happen to you for free. This could be your one chance to actually fuck a girl, a baddie too." Connie says, not even trying to sugarcoat his words.
A short burst of annoyance lights up within Connie from his words, "Stop speaking about her as if she's some fucking machine, she's a person, not a fuck toy. I can't believe Eren got into your head." Causing his voice to become snappy.
"I didn't mean it like that," Connie quickly says, pushing himself to sit up. "She's a lovely girl, but I think she might want something serious with you because, to my knowledge, she doesn't do this with people."
"I'm simply referring to the fact that if the two of you continue to get close, then things may happen because not even you can restrain yourself if she comes onto you, she's like a sexy siren," he says, partially zoning out as he speaks.
Jean has the urge to laugh at Connie because there's no way you'd ever fuck him.
He shakes his head in disapproval as he says, "Your mind is just riddled with sex because it's the only thing you know how to talk about."
"It's not my fault the only thing you've come close to fucking is your hand," Connie comments, laughing at his own joke.
Jean wraps his fingers around one of the pillows next to him and fires the object at Connie while saying, "Sex seems overrated anyway."
The pillow hits Connie square in the face, causing his body to jolt back. He grabs ahold of the pillow while saying, "Only virgins say that shit."
"I don't see the point in having meaningless sex with people who don't care about you," Jean says, letting his head fall against one of his pillows. "It's stupid and I'd rather do it with someone who I actually love."
"But wouldn't fucking one person for the rest of your life feel like torture?" Connie asks, staring at Jean as he clutches the pillow to his chest and says, "Meanless sex is fun because you can explore a lot."
"You can't do that with your partner?" Jean asks, confused by Connie's logic.
Connie nods slowly but says, "Yes, but it's fun with different people."
"We're never going to be this young and free again, so now is the time to experience everything and fuck about," Connie comments.
Jean takes a moment to digest Connie's words and for the first time in a while, Jean understands where Connie is coming from. He doesn't completely agree, but he understands that he will never be this young again and in six months, he'll no longer be a teenager.
"I understand, but I still want my first time to be with someone I care about and I want them to care about me," Jean says with a short sigh, not knowing if that would be possible.
"You may be waiting a long ass time then," Connie snickers and adds, "unless you continue to hang out with (y/n)."
Jean brings his gaze up to meet with Connie's and asks, "Do you think it's a good idea to hang out with her?"
"Why would it be a bad thing?" Connie asks, quickly understanding from Jean's face that he's beginning to overthink.
A part of him can't help but think about what Mikasa and Eren have been saying to him this whole time.
He can't help but wonder if they're right.
"What if Eren is right and she is playing some game with me?" He asks, feeling guilty for even thinking so.
"I know she doesn't want me in that way and the only thing that will come out of this is friendship, but she's so close with Reiner and you know how he feels about me," Jean's fingers begin to slide the rings that adorn them. "Reiner would do anything to make my life hell, so what if he's behind this somehow?"
Connie adjusts himself on Jean's bed and says, "I know a lot of people assume things about her, but I don't think she's that evil to do something like that. I'd like to think she has morals and doesn't blindly follow what Reiner tells her to do."
"Maybe she's getting tired of him and wants to explore her friendships," Connie says, trying to reassure Jean. "And it's not completely strange because you do share a class together."
A weary sigh escapes Jean's lips, followed by a brief pause of silence.
"I just..." he pauses again, keeping his eyes down. "I don't think I have it in me to get hurt again."
Connie's eyes immediately soften once he realises what Jean is referring to.
"If you honestly believe that you're going to get hurt, then step away now." Connie says, his tone firm, causing Jean to look up at him. "However, you will always be questioning what if."
"I have a lot of love for you, but you need to put yourself out there again, Jean. You need to push yourself out of your comfort zone again and stop being afraid because you'll never fully be able to move on if you don't push yourself out of this state of mind."
A soft, almost invisible smile begins to perk up Jean's lips. Jean knows if anyone can encourage and persuade him to do something good for him, it will always be Connie.
"And honestly, a part of me believes that (y/n) could help you with that." He adds.
"Why her?" Jean asks, a little confused.
Connie clears his throat before saying, "She's everything you used to be."
"She's not afraid to speak her mind or stand up for herself, she almost never gets embarrassed and she doesn't care what people think about her," Connie explains. "I'm not even friends with her and I can see these things, so imagine how much better she is when you are friends with her."
Jean glances out the window as he digests Connie's words. He knows Connie is right when it comes to this because he does need to push himself out of his comfort zone again, but he doesn't know if you'll be able to help that.
"When are you next seeing her?" Connie asks.
Jean shrugs his shoulders while saying, "I'm not sure."
"I have a plan and you're going to love me for it," Connie says with a mischievous smile growing on his face.
Jean remains silent, but uses his eyes to tell Connie to continue.
[A Few Hours Later, The Book Cellar]
Jean pulls the box of books toward him while lowering his body to the appropriate shelf in the bookcase. He is completely oblivious to his surroundings due to the earphones that are currently in his ears.
It's getting close to the end of his shift, and there's another worker there, so he can move at his own pace and take things as slowly as he wants to.
He removes the box cutter from its hiding place in his pocket and drags it along the surface of the brand new box that is positioned in front of him.
In order to speed up the process of placing the books on the shelves, he first opens the flaps and then grabs a group of six books at a time.
The sensation of a hand tapping on Jean's shoulder causes him to turn around, and to his surprise, his colleague is looming over him.
He pulls an earphone out and looks at him, waiting for him to say something.
"Could you please cover the register while I take my break?" James, the tall, dark haired male, asks.
Jean nods and stands tall.
Taking the empty box in his hands, he turns to James and asks, "Are you going on a lunch break or?"
"No, I need a coffee; otherwise, I'm going to collapse since I'm closing tonight," he lightheartedly jokes as the two males make their way towards the front of the store.
Although James appears to be the same height as Jean, he is not quite as tall as he is because he is lacking two inches in height.
His build is lean but muscular, and despite the fact that they are the same age, he appears to be a little younger than Jean. However, the facial hair that Jean has been growing out does not help.
His hair is always silky smooth and a dark, almost inky colour.
The depth of his dark brown eyes stands in stark contrast to the warmth of his beige skin. Because of the sharpness and definition of his features, he gives off an intimidating appearance to those who are unfamiliar with him.
"Do you want anything?" James asks Jean who's taking a seat at the register.
Since Jean started this job, which was the summer before he started college, James started at the same time as him, and ever since then, the two of them have become particularly close to one another and have bonded extremely closely.
As Jean tries to think of something to say, his eyes appear to muse for a moment as he asks, "Can you get me a latte, please?"
"The usual?" James leans his tall frame against the counter.
Jean gives a satisfied nod of his head before saying, "Oh, and I saw you booked time off. Where are you going for two weeks?"
"Have you been stalking my schedule, Jean?" he says with a teasing grin.
Jean rolls his eyes at the man. "I was looking to see whether or not you would be working today, but then I noticed that you won't be working for the next two weeks."
"Aww, is someone going to miss me?" James coos in a baby voice while he reaches over the counter and attempts to pinch Jean's cheeks.
Jean slaps his hand away from his face, making James laugh. "It's my grandma's birthday, so I'm going home to Japan for a bit."
"I can finally get some peace and quiet around here." Jean says with a small smile lining his lips.
"You know your ass is going to miss me," James says with a broad smile as he gradually moves towards. As he exits the store, he yells out, "I'll see you twenty," before continuing on his way.
Jean looks at the time displayed on his phone just before he reaches for the book that has been stashed away in the drawer.
His brown eyes skim the printed text, looking for the quotes he needs. As soon as he discovers the perfect phrase, he takes the highlighter and carefully moves it across the page, making sure to keep a steady hand before he tabs the page.
Jean is finishing up highlighting a paragraph when the chime on the door goes off, so he doesn't look up right away. However, he can hear the customer's footsteps getting closer and closer to him as they approach the counter.
"Jean?" an unfamiliar voice asks, which makes Jean snap his head up to see who's saying his name.
He looks up to see a blonde who is somewhat familiar to him standing in front of him with a surprised expression on his face.
Jean tries to get his hair out of the way by running his hand through it and then parting his lips to speak, but before he can get any words out, he is cut off by another person.
A loud voice can be heard bouncing off the wall as another customer enters the store.
The voice says, "Parking on this street is a fucking nightmare." The focus of Jean's vision shifts from the man in front of him to the individual who is entering the store.
"Oh shit, hey Jean." The second tall blonde says while placing a cigarette behind his right ear.
"Hey Zeke," Jean says awkwardly, lifting his lips into a half smile because he's never interacted with him or Colt before, other than the time he went to the party with you.
"Hey, Colt," Jean adds.
Zeke repositions his hoodie on his body and rummages through the pockets of his trousers, looking for something.
Colt says, "I had no idea you worked here," before turning to hand over the lighter that Zeke was looking for.
"Yeah, I've worked here for quite some time now," he admits as he fiddles with the rings that are worn on his fingers. Because he is unsure of who to look at, he keeps glancing at both Zeke and Colt while asking, "Can I help you with anything?"
The intense stare that Zeke is giving Jean isn't doing much to calm his nerves, despite the fact that Jean is making a concerted effort to conceal his anxiety.
"I have an order to collect." Colt sounds unsure and says, "It should be under Colt Grice."
Jean continues to hum as he rotates his body to look at the group of packages that have been delivered behind him. In order to get a better look at the labels, he lowers his body behind the counter.
As he does so, he notices that one of the labels contains Colt's name. "I've got it here, but I need to wrap them up, so do you mind waiting for a few minutes?" After picking the box up off the ground, Jean looks over at Colt.
"Yeah, sure, no problem." The seemingly insignificant act of Colt smiling at Jean helps to alleviate some of the anxiety he is feeling.
The three of them stand in silence, and the only noise that can be heard is the sound of the music quietly playing through the speakers.
Colt and Zeke stare at each other as if they're unsure of what they should say.
"So..." Zeke drags out his voice while running his hand along his scruff. "How's things with you and (y/n)?"
When your name is mentioned, Jean becomes tense, and while doing so, he runs the box cutter along the sellotape that is holding the box together.
He nervously swallows. "Good, I think."
"You think?" Colt's voice is soft.
Jean says in a shaky voice, "She's very hard to read, so I can never tell how our conversations are going." Jean is aware of how close you are to Zeke and Colt, and because of this, he is afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Zeke agreeably nods. "Well, if it helps, she enjoys spending time with you, so you're doing something right," he says to Jean, giving her a brief and friendly smile in response.
Jean returns the gesture and smiles back. "That's good to know."
One by one, Jean pulls the six books out of the box, and his eyes scan over the covers. "I wouldn't take you as someone who's into Sylvia Plath or Jaen Austen," he jokingly teases as he looks at Colt.
Colt's cheeks flush in embarrassment while Zeke loudly laughs at Jean's comment.
Zeke slings his arm over Colt's shoulders and pulls him closer to himself while saying, "He's a sucker for them."
"They're for (y/n) not me," Colt explains as he tries to push Zeke away from him.
While maintaining his focus on Jean, Zeke mouths to him, "They're not." while shaking his head.
Jean gives a muffled chuckle to both of them while he grabs some plain wrapping paper to use for the books.
Colt's eyes drift to Zeke's, and although neither of them says a word, it appears as though they are communicating with one another solely through the use of their eyes.
"Jean, are you busy this Friday by any chance?" Colt asks, and Zeke adjusts his glasses before looking down at the device he is holding in his hand in order to send a message to someone.
He shakes his head while wrapping the books together. "No, why?"
"We're having our game night at a golf place, and we currently have an odd number, so..." As Zeke pulls himself away from his phone, he looks over at Colt.
Colt offers, with a smile lining his lips as he finishes Zeke's sentence, "If you were to come, you could pair up with (y/n) instead of her being stuck with one of us."
"She hasn't been herself this week, which is why we're getting the books," he says, pointing his hands towards the books Jean's wrapping. "We think Friday can help cheer her up, so maybe if you're there, she'll be even happier."
Despite the fact that he has been invited, Jean is at a loss for what to say because he doesn't want to be a burden.
The two males who are standing in front of him are eagerly awaiting his response as he asks, "Who's going to be there?"
"Us two, Ymir, Bertholdt, and (y/n)" Colt responds. "I'm with Bert, and Zeke's paired with Ymir, so if you were to come, you could be with (y/n)."
As Jean begins to slowly nod his head and say, "Okay, I'll come," as soon as the words leave his mouth, a sense of regret begins to flood through his mind.
Jean takes a pen and a piece of paper from off to the side and brings them into his line of sight. His hand moves smoothly across the paper as he writes something.
"Message me the details," he says to Colt as he hands him his number. He has a slight smile on his lips.
Jean seizes the wrapped books, places them in a bag, and then gives the bag to Zeke. "Thanks for inviting me."
"Any friend of (y/n)'s is a friend of ours." Jean finds the words of Colt to be both reassuring and terrifying. "We'll see you Friday, Jean."
As they leave the store, the pair say their goodbyes to him.
